Starting this blog has been *hard*. It still is. I don't know how to articulate these thoughts without feeling forced. it was much easier with my cancer chronicles, but I was also hypomanic through most of that time, so there's that. I wonder if I'm afraid of starting because the writing won't be as good. It was easy to be glib about my cancer experience, not a lot of stigmas there. When I had my latest breakdown in August of 2015 I thought about publically chronicling my progress, but I was afraid that I'd never find a job again. I was afraid I'd be ridiculed for my weakness of character. Cancer isn't a personality flaw. It isn't a thing that carries shame and regret. It isn't a condition that alienates friends and abuses family. It never made me want to disappear from the world. It never took away my ability to form sentences. It never made me fear my thoughts and words. I've been going over the last four years of journals I've kept sin...